Navigating Challenges and Building Bonds: The Ultimate Guide to Life with Flatmates

As we enter the second half of this university year, you might be starting to get sick of some of your flatmates. Whether they always leave dirty plates in the sink, fill the bin up but don’t take it out or just have no respect for living in a shared space, life with flatmates can be difficult. But fear not, there are a few simple ways that you can iron out all those little problems! Below are some of the key do’s and don’ts you need to create a more peaceful living space.

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DO: Create a flat group chat

If you haven’t already, it’s really important to have a flat group chat; communication is so important for harmonious living. There are a number of different platforms that you can use, though personally I would recommend WhatsApp. Having a group chat means you and your flatmates can send a message about any issue to your whole flat really easily – and the message will get to them in a matter of seconds. If you’re not good with in-person confrontation, this can be the perfect way to sort out the problem without having to directly speak to every member of your flat.

DON’T: Continually clean up after your messy flatmate(s)

It’s really nice to have a clean flat, and it’s also nice to tidy up after your flatmates from time to time, especially if you know they’re busy and might not have time to do it. But don’t find yourself doing it every time for those flatmates who never seem to clean up their own mess. Even though it can be good to help your flatmates out, you might find that it becomes an expectation for you to clean up, rather than something that everybody in the flat should contribute to. This also includes doing the bin when it isn’t your turn - if you continually do it for others, they will think they can get away with not doing it and eventually they will stop taking it out altogether.

Instead, this is when it can be good to utilise the group chat to send a friendly reminder that peaceful communal living only works when everyone pulls their weight.

DO: Have whole flat meetings

The only problem with a group chat is that certain members of the flat (and often those who cause the most problems) can easily ignore the messages. So, sometimes the best solution is to have an in-person flat meeting to directly address those issues that cause the most problems. Of course, it can be difficult to get all of your flatmates to attend, especially when deadlines are coming up or exams are approaching. But, by finding a time that works for everyone, (and also promising snacks!), you can try to get as many of your flatmates there as possible.

Flat meetings can be awkward, particularly if you don’t know your flatmates well. But you might be surprised! You might find that a lot of you actually find the same issues frustrating, and by collectively coming up with a solution, you may start to bond with your flatmates.

DON’T: Be argumentative with your flatmates

The other extreme reaction to deal with your messy or problematic flatmates is to be argumentative. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when those we’re living with can really test the limits. And if your flatmate has been causing issues since September, and any attempt to try to reason with them has failed, it might be necessary to be firmer with them.

However, there’s no need to be excessively argumentative because living in a tense atmosphere isn’t fun, and it can make living together awkward for everyone. Remember, whether you want to or not, you have to live with them until the end of May, so it’s best to try to maintain peace and resolve any tensions as much as you can.

DO: Make a bin/cleaning rota – and stick to it

If you’ve never had flatmates before, it can be surprising how many arguments the bin and the cleaning of the flat can cause. Therefore, having a rota for taking the bins out and cleaning the kitchen and corridors is really important.

This is when it can be good to organise a flat meeting. Altogether, you and your flatmates can divide the tasks up and then create a rota. By physically writing a rota, that you then put up on the fridge, or pin to the noticeboard, you are creating a really useful visual reminder for people to complete their chores.

It might seem trivial, but having a schedule for these tasks really does make day-to-day living in the flat easier, and cleaner.

DON’T: Be the difficult flatmate

This might seem obvious, but don’t be the problematic flatmate. It’s really not that difficult! If there’s a day where you’re in a rush and can’t properly clean up after yourself, or you forget to take the bin out, or you have a particularly noisy late night with your friends in the kitchen, sending a simple apology message to your flatmates can go a long way. As long as you remain aware and respectful of the fact that you are living in a shared space, sometimes with up to 10 or 11 other people, you can be a good flatmate.

DO: Organise activities to do as a flat

If you want to bond with your flatmates more, it can be really good to organise things to do with your flatmates, both inside and outside of the flat. If you’re all into drinking and clubbing, that’s an easy option. But just remember that not all your flatmates will necessary love going out – and it’s good to try to find something that all of you will enjoy doing. Instead, it can be good to organise nights in, where you cook together, or order takeout and watch a movie. You can also organise other activities outside the flat that don’t involve drinking such as going for dinner or going to the cinema.

Also, if you’re feeling isolated from your flatmates, it’s a good idea to try to find activities to do together. You might not bond with everyone, but even reaching out to just one flatmate can make a difference. It can really help to know you have a friend in the flat, and to know that there’s always someone nearby to chat and hang out with.

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Overall, your living conditions are incredibly important to your whole university experience. Living somewhere unenjoyable, especially where you feel constant tension, can make the whole year really difficult, and can negatively impact your mental health. So, it’s really important to find a balance between being firm about the rules and creating a calm and peaceful living environment, which fosters positivity!