Blog 1 of 3: The Notebook

When I was around twelve years old, I noticed my grandfather had a routine. Every afternoon, he would walk over to a cabinet in the living room, take out a worn leather notebook and quietly read through a few pages. Every now and then, he would pick up the phone and call someone. Never the same person twice in a row, never the same conversation. For two weeks that one summer holiday I watched this happen, I was convinced I had discovered some sort of secret operation. He had been in the marines when he was younger after all, so naturally my imagination filled in the gaps.

Eventually, curiosity won and I did ask him what was inside the notebook. It turned out to be much simpler than anything I had imagined. Every name belonged to someone he had spoken to, and during those conversations they had shared a worry, an illness, a family problem or something they were carrying. Before saying goodbye, my grandfather would ask whether he could pray for them and their situation. If yes, he would write down their name, what they had told him, and later on pray for them. After some time of this routine, he’d call to ask how they were doing and if there were any updates, positive or negative. No one had asked him to do this. He never told anyone they should do it either. It was simply a system he had created to make sure his caring was being put into action.

Looking back, I don't think I realised how unusual this was. It takes effort to remember people. It takes intention to check in weeks or months later. It takes commitment to follow through on something that most people would forget after the conversation ends. And although I certainly didn't associate this word with his actions, I think my grandfather was teaching me one of the most valuable lessons about networking: It’s not just listening and talking about careers, not just collecting business cards, but caring.

Networking is about people

For many students, networking has become one of those words that instantly creates discomfort. It brings to mind awkward events with name badges, introducing yourself to strangers, rehearsed elevator pitches and trying to make yourself memorable enough that someone might offer you an internship one day. It can feel transactional before you've even walked through the door, and I thought and felt this way too. We can have the story of how I started using real confetti as a conversation starter another day.

In order to write this blog, I spoke to students, university staff, founders and professionals from different backgrounds, and asked them what networking had actually looked like throughout their lives. I expected stories about careers and opportunities. Instead, almost everyone talked about people. Ironically. One person spoke about meeting a mentor after deciding to attend an event purely because it was on the way home and there was free pizza. Another found a part-time job because of someone they happened to meet on campus. Someone else described how a conversation with a lecturer unexpectedly led to working at a festival. Others talked about church communities, classmates, coffee shops, university projects and societies. Very few of these stories began with someone asking for a job. Most, began with simple conversations. That was perhaps the biggest surprise, as networking wasn't happening inside networking events. It was just happening everywhere.

Not everything happens Immediately

The more conversations I had, the more another pattern emerged, the opportunities almost never arrived immediately. Sometimes weeks or months passed. Sometimes the connection simply remained a pleasant conversation until one day someone remembered them when an opportunity appeared. One founder shared that they had contacted an academic simply because they admired their work and wanted to hear their perspective. Months later, when a role became available, there was no lengthy recruitment process. The relationship already existed. Trust had already been built. The opportunity was simply a continuation of a conversation that had started long before there was anything to gain from it. Students often feel pressure to make every conversation "count". We leave an event wondering whether speaking to someone was worth it because nothing happened afterwards. Yet, especially after all the feedback, I can say that's the wrong way to think about it. Relationships don't follow university deadlines; and people remember genuine interactions long after we've forgotten them ourselves.

Curiosity over Charisma and What can I offer?

Another theme appeared in almost every interview: curiosity. Not confidence or charisma, but curiosity. The people I spoke to weren't trying to impress everyone they met. They simply wanted to know more about the person in front of them. They asked questions, listened carefully and enjoyed hearing someone else's story. Ironically, that often made them more memorable. People can usually tell when they're being treated as a stepping stone and they can also tell when someone is genuinely interested in them. Most of the interviewees spoke about following up after conversations with a thank-you message, a coffee a few weeks later or by checking in months afterwards. Just keeping in touch. Networking, they suggested, doesn't end when you exchange LinkedIn profiles. In many ways, that's just when it begins. One piece of advice particularly stayed with me. Someone recommended keeping a spreadsheet with people's names, what you spoke about, when you met them and when to reach out again. It sounded both incredibly organised and hilarious. My grandfather had been doing exactly the same thing for years. He just happened to use a leather notebook instead of Excel.

So the question is then, why do so many students feel uncomfortable networking? I think it is complicated and a mix of things. Part of it is fear. Fear of rejection, of interrupting someone, of saying the wrong thing. But I think another part comes from believing we have nothing valuable to offer. We're students, we’re just starting out, what could we possibly contribute? Yet the conversations I had suggested something completely different. Relationships aren't transactions. You don't earn someone's time only once you've achieved enough. Sometimes what you offer is simply curiosity, reliability, active, careful and genuine listening. Just remembering something important they told you, or simply showing up. These aren't small things. They're often the foundation of lasting relationships. Ironically, the people who seem to build the strongest networks aren't usually the ones trying hardest to network. They're simply interested in people. I think this is a much kinder definition, and if I'm honest, a much less intimidating one. So perhaps networking isn't really about expanding a network at all. Perhaps it's about expanding your community. Meeting people whose stories are different from your own, learning from them, supporting them where you can. Allowing opportunities to become a by-product rather than the objective.

Perhaps it was never about “networking”

When I think back to my grandfather opening that leather notebook every afternoon, I don't remember someone carefully building professional relationships. I remember someone making sure compassion didn't stop at good intentions. He created a habit that helped him remember people and years later, someone suggested I should keep a spreadsheet to remember the people I meet, who they are and what they do. My grandfather would probably smile at that. My grandfather wasn't networking, he was simply caring, and perhaps that's what networking has always been.

I would like to use this space to thank all the individuals who have formally and informally taken the time to talk about their experiences and views regarding networking and professional relationships: Dorcas, Ena Digba, Gleb Sokolovski, Hellen, Ignacio Bobadilla, Jose Alovatti, Marco Rossi, Priscilla Anyait, Rebecca Gallacher, Silvina Bobadilla.